Old Portuguese Road (Old Town Road Parody)


Yeah I’m gonna do landscaping with my cousin Joe We’re gonna cut grass til we can’t no more Then I’ll fix my car cause the tires low Gotta minivan that I drive real slow I built the tool shed in the back 2×4’s are stacked Make anything from scratch Pork chops wear all sorts of hats I fixed my own porch ha Weld things with a torch I don’t hire strangers
I’ll call my cousin Jorge, now Can’t nobody charge me nothing You can’t charge me nothing Can’t nobody charge me nothing You can’t charge me nothing Plowed my garden with a tractor Now I’m on a ladder Installed an air conditioner My pockets getting fatter Concrete, I can mix it Cracked walls, I can fix it If the Bushes get too thick Then I’ll go and trim it Can’t nobody charge me nothing You can’t charge me nothing Can’t nobody charge me nothing You can’t charge me nothing Yeah I’m gonna do landscaping with my cousin Joe We’re gonna cut grass til we can’t no more Then I’ll fix my car cause the tires low Gotta minivan that I drive real slow Your pipes burst, what’s first? Gotta shut the water You’ll spend a lot of money on a licensed plumber Baby you should get yourself a handy Portuguese boy My tools are packed up in the car that I paid cash for Got no stress, my bills paid off I’m a workin man, my hand’s not soft I’m gonna do landscaping with my primo Joe We’re gonna cut grass til we can’t no more Yeah I’m gonna do landscaping with my cousin Joe We’re gonna cut grass til we can’t no more Then I’ll fix my car cause the tires low Gotta minivan that I drive real slow

100 comments

  1. This is one of the cringeist things I’ve seen today. I’m telling people I’m Brazilian from now on, this is humiliating 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷

  2. Hey, we like tools and to fix things!
    P.S.: In Portugal we don't drive slow, there isn't law enforcement. A lei em Portugal é para Inglês ver.

  3. Person: Where are you from?
    Me: Portugal
    Person: Oh so you speak Spanish right?
    Me: SPEAKO O QUÊ CRLH? YOU VAIS LEVAR WITH A BACALHAU IN YOUR CORNOS RIGHT AGORA!

  4. Dammit.. it doesn't matter where Portuguese are in the world.. Cutting grass and fixing cars will always be a thing 😂😂

  5. People ask me all the time, "where do I go now?" and I answer in good portuguese translated to english.
    "You go to caralho!!!"

  6. Me/i can is Portugal português good town read is even the same of take my house even a bad song is even matters and it Cares YouTube 88 YouTube

  7. This is good shit! Grew up Portuguese on the Canadian prairies. Primo Joe always comes through, almost like my italian cousin Gino.

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